


Comfort Zone

by snowzone5



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Angst, Crying, F/M, Girls With girl issues, Mileven, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowzone5/pseuds/snowzone5
Summary: El has a school project for the semester. She needs to read books outside of her comfort zone. She meets Mike at a second hand bookstore.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 14
Kudos: 22





	1. Browsing

_ Oh. He’s cute! That mess of hair, I wouldn’t say no to running my fingers through it. Especially if he was, you know, maybe kissing my breasts. For god’s sake El, try to not throw yourself at him ok? He looks like he knows what he’s looking for. He looks a little like a nerd, I can tell by just looking. Do I want to take advantage of that? Any girl talking to a nerd will get him hot and bothered. I don’t really want to do that if he’s a nice guy, but I need advice. I’m just going to have to put up with his first impression, he’ll look at my tits, nothing new there. Sometimes being well endowed is a curse. I really need his help. And now that I think about it, he looks familiar. Isn't that Mike Wheeler? He’s known in Hawkins High as a nice guy, but bullied a lot. I think I see a bruise on his beautiful face. Poor guy. _

_ We are the only two people up here. I’ll get over the embarrassment. His eyes will eventually travel up to my face. _

“Excuse me?” He looked up, and turned his head toward me.

_ He looked right into my eyes, they didn’t even take a quick flick down to my breasts. My heart started pounding. His eyes were dark and gentle. His lips full, giving me an awkward smile. He’s blushing! Definitely a nerd. He doesn’t know what to do. He has the proverbial deer in the headlights look. Gorgeous eyes in the headlights look, but headlights nonetheless. _

_ Ok, ok. I admit it. I got a little tingly down there and my nipples started to stiffen up. I hope they aren’t obvious. That would be beyond embarrassing.  _

“Can I help you?”  _ He asked. Sigh. His voice was soft and gentle. Why can’t I meet guys like this? Oh wait… _

“I have a school project for my English Lit class. We have to read a book series that’s way out of our comfort zone. I decided to come here because this is where I buy most of my books from.”

“Me too.” He said. “So you are in the SF section, let me guess this is out of your comfort zone? What  _ is _ in your comfort zone?”

_ I nodded to him,  _ “My favourite author is Dean Koontz.”

“Oh? I have all of his books. I expected you to be a Stephen King fan.”

“Please,”  _ I said as sarcastically as possible. _

“Ok, Well you are in luck, you’ve read SF and probably didn’t even know it.”

“I have?” I _ don’t remember any of Dean Koontz’s novels being science-fiction.” _

“ _Strangers_? Have you read that one?”

“Yes, that was a good one.”

“Well, that’s pretty much SF. It’s kind of  _ soft _ SF. Not any science-y stuff in it. Some writing teachers like to call it  _ folk sf. _ You have space-opera… think Star Wars.”

_ I curled up my nose. He laughed and said,  _ “Ok. I won’t recommend any space-opera, that tends to be science-fantasy. All this is strictly my opinion, but I’ve read a ton of SF, so I’d like to think I have some cachet. And then you have your  _ hard SF.  _ That would be Isaac Asimov, Charles Sheffield, authors like that. There are arguments about who is or who isn’t, so this is just my opinion. But you have to read a series? For the semester?”

_ I grimaced.  _ “Yes, I know it has to be outside my comfort zone, and I’m a little excited to see what’s out there, but if you’ve ever read, Thomas Hardy’s  _ Mayor of Casterbridge _ , you know that you can have a little entertainment but a  _ lot _ of really dry reading.”

_ He laughed.  _ “I  _ have _ read that. I know exactly what you mean. Of course there’s also fantasy,  _ Lord of the Rings,  _ which pretty much started the whole sword and sorcery genre, a few exceptions. Um, think the princess captured slash enslaved slash imprisoned by the evil king slash wizard slash dragon and the handsome prince slash apprentice wizard slash young boy has to rescue her. He kills said evil characters, they fall in love and… and…”

_ He’s really blushing, this feels personal to him. Suddenly he seems like he can’t get away from me fast enough.  _

“Ok, I’m going to recommend, um, two different series. Fun reads, a bit of SF, a bit adventure. The, um, let’s call it  _ lighter _ one is the  _ Well of Souls  _ series by Jack L. Chalker. The main characters are on a quest, um, been a long time since I’ve read it so I’m a little light on the details, but they end up on a planet that is divided by hexes, each hex is inhabited by a different alien species, a huge computer regulates everything, it changes your body to live in each one of the hex’s environment. It’s all adventure for the most part but a lot of fun to read. It was recommended to me by a friend when I told him about this next one...”

“So all the books are here for both series, this is the Riverworld series by Phillip Jose Farmer. Everyone who’s ever died gets resurrected on this planet, with a long and winding river. Riverworld, get it? Lots of historical figures in this one, quite a bit of philosophy, but also a quest. It’s a form of  _ where do we come from and were are we going  _ type of story. Still fun to read, but might be a little heavier than you want. Definitely heavier than the Chalker series.”

“How many books in either?”

“Five books for the Riverworld series, five for Chalker, with a bit of a sequel.”

“Ouch, I only have the cash for two or three.”

“Um…”  _ He turned a deep red. What did he want to say? _

“I could buy either for you… you could owe me… you could owe me... or if you find that a too uncomfortable offer coming from a stranger, um, I could let you borrow my copies.”

_ He lowered his head. He’s waiting for my rejection of both offers. If I borrowed his I’d get to see him again! If I borrowed one at a time... ooh, clever girl El… _

_ “ _ I just realized how much of a nerd I sounded like. Well, true, but both series are a fun read. Sorry if I came across all… I don’t know… all um, nerdy.”

_ I laughed, he initially froze in terror like he’d made a horrible mistake, but I said, “Yes, you came across as a big time nerd… but also passionate about your hobby. I’m a big reading fan so I recognize the enthusiasm. How about I borrow the first Riverworld? It sounds very interesting, if I don’t like it I’ll try the other.” _

_ His face brightened, his smile would have melted any cold bitch’s heart. It set mine on fire. How have I gone to the same school with this guy and never talked to him? I think he’s even in some of my classes. Bigger picture, how many girls have never talked to a guy they thought was a nerd or because they thought he wasn’t keeping up on his hygiene. I mean, this guy was definitely dressed down, leisurely browsing in a second hand bookstore, but he didn’t smell. I was close enough to him to know that.  _

“Ok, well, um, I can’t really meet you here with books… I don’t think the guy down at the cash would go for that. I’ll pay for this book, and um, you can um, uh, walk with me to my house and I’ll grab the book.”

_ He looked like I was going to shoot him down in cold flames.  _ “I would love to!”

_ He smiled and looked down. He can’t even face me, his face is so red.  _ “What book are you buying?”

“I’ve never heard of this author before, James P. Hogan, but this book sounds like it’s right up my alley. Astronauts find a spacesuit with a skeleton inside. On the moon. It turns out the skeleton is forty thousand years old. How can you read a description like that and  _ not _ want to read it?”

_ His enthusiasm was contagious. He was really into his hobby. _

_ Two things happened that made me start to wonder about Karma. I was walking with him, and we seemed to be heading to where I lived. _

_ When we arrived at his basement door I was very careful to hide my glance at the house next door. _

_ That’s where I lived. _

_ The burning question inside me was now a simple one. _

_ How could I arrange it so I get kiss him? _

  
  
  



	2. Borrowing His Heart

_ I have a bookshelf. It’s filled with books that my dad read to me after… he rescued me. There are some books in it that I bought myself, but most are the ones he read to me. Everynight. I sighed. Those were some of the best days of my life. Even though we argued about my freedom or lack thereof, he would always read to me. _

_ I loved my dad. I still do. He’s having a hard time knowing that his daughter is growing up and looking for… companionship? Well it was a lot more than that. I mean I wasn’t looking for a husband. Not at sixteen I wasn’t, but I  _ was _ looking for a boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend. _

_ I don’t want to say I was picky but. He had to be kind, not just to me but in general. He had to be smart. I’d be damned if I went out with a good looking jock who couldn’t write his own name because he couldn’t spell it. _

_ I was not prepared for what I saw in his basement. Every single wall had a tall bookshelf. And they were all filled with books, I could see that they were doubled up, tripled up, and books lying on their sides also tripled up. _

_ My eyes must have looked like saucers, he blushed and smiled at me when I asked,  _ “How many books do you have?”

“Almost three thousand.”  _ I could see that he was proud of his book collection. _

“Have you read them all?”

“Most of them,”  _ now he looked embarrassed. He’d just admitted he was a bookworm, which I’m sure is a subcategory of nerd. I smiled to myself. There’s no way he wasn’t smart. And he’s cute El. Let’s not forget that shallow fact. _

“Ok, El, I’m going to show you something that people think I’m being a little asshole-ish about.”

_ When he said that I knew I’d screwed up somewhere. I was scared to death to ask him but I knew I had to… maybe I could fix it. _

_ “Mike… how did you know my name? I know I didn’t tell you. I mean, I know who you are…” _

_ He took one look at me. His nerdy demeanor disappeared. He just looked sad. He didn’t look at me when he said, “Um…  _ I have the same assignment as you do, El. I, uh, sit behind you in English LIt. And I know you live next door.”  _ He shrugged. _

_ Oooooh, shit. That means he thinks I didn’t even know he existed. He’s sitting behind me?! How did I not know that? I never came over to say hi, even though I lived next door. Stuck up bitch. That’s what they call girls who act like that. Now he thinks I’m just batting my eyes at him to get his help… I think that’s exactly what I did. I was ashamed of myself. Now I was going to pay for it. _

“Go ahead, be an asshole.”  _ I was smiling when I said it, but it came out all wrong. He didn’t even flinch when I said it. Talk about a situation going into the dumper. _

_ He passed me a book, it looked brand new, like it has just come off the shelf.  _ “See this? This was the copy of the book I’ve read. I think I’ve read that exact copy three times now. It’s my favourite book. I collect every edition I can find.”

_ I looked at the the shelf he took it from, the entire row was the same copy  _ Earth Abides, by George R. Stewart. __

_ His favourite book. Noted. _

“Now take a look at this.”

_ He passed another one to me was was clearly the same book, but only the back cover was on it. The spine and front cover were missing. The book looked to be in three even sections broken and separated at the spine. There was masking tape holding the sections together and it looked like it had been waterlogged at some point. _

“Let me guess, you lent that to someone. How long did he have it before he gave it back to you in that condition, years from the look of it.”

“Three days.”

_ He was right. He was being an asshole about it. Even though I knew the answer I asked him anyway.  _ “You don’t lend out books anymore do you? It’s ok, I’ll go buy the first book back at that second hand book store.”

_ He couldn’t look me in the eye.  _ “I told you that I was an asshole about it. You don’t have to buy it El, you can borrow my copy. I don’t know whyI even did that. These books,”  _ he looked around at the bookshelves,  _ “They are kind of a prized possession. I own more books than anybody I know. I have a better SF collection than most bookstores.”  _ He shrugged again.  _ “It’s a source of pride.”

“Why did you even give me a recommendation let alone offer lend me one?”

_ The next thing he said made my heart cry. It almost made me cry. Maybe I would later when I got home and went to my bedroom. _

_ It also made me fallin love with him. Totally and completely. _

_ Yes, just like that, and just that quickly. Just that strongly.  _

“You have pretty and honest eyes. You are the first pretty girl to ever talk to me. The first girl period to even talk to me. You needed my help… and now that I’m talking to you, I um, sorta need yours.”

_ My help? He was the book nerd not me. _

“You want something out of your comfort zone. I think they call it chick lit.”

_ He smiled at me sheepishly.  _ “I’m kinda in the weeds here. I don’t know what girls like, but I’m sure it will be way outside of what I like to read.”

“Anne of Green Gables. I have the whole series… you can borrow them if you want… but I want them back in better shape than when you get them.”

_ He winced.  _ “Ouch. I deserved that, I’m sorry El.”

“Apology not needed. When I think about that series I am filled with a sense of my own pride. I would feel bad if they came back damaged or didn’t come back at all. I know now, that you would never do that, so I will never hurt your books.”

_ Or your heart Mike. I will never hurt your heart. Because… because I know you will never hurt mine. _

_ After what he said next that he’d given me the ability to float. My heart was filled with… filled with… love. It buoyed me up, my feet  _ must _ have come off the floor. _

“Um, what if we read for a few hours every night over on the sofa down here? Seven to nine. I’ll walk you home if it gets too dark. Um, I mean I know you live right next door, but…”

“Yes.” 

“... and that way if we have questions about what we are reading then we can ask. I mean if you don’t want…”

“Yes.”

“...to then, you know, we can just ask each other the next day…”

“Mike. Yes.”  _ Then I went and did it. I cried. I was completely overwhelmed by this nice guy. I’d  _ never _ talked to a guy like this. Mike never once looked at my chest. He apologized immediately as if he’d done something wrong and he came over and hugged me. _

_ I cried even harder and I think I must have been unconsciously done on my part… but I kind of pressed my boobs up against chest when he hugged me. My girls were poking hard against him. A true gentleman. He gave me no indication whatsoever that I had done that. He was just comforting me because I started crying out of the blue. _

_ I sniffed when we parted.  _ “Um, El? Did I say something wrong, you’re dad won’t let you out at night? Not even next door? That’s ok, I could always go to your place. We could read where he could see us. I mean…”

“It’s ok Mike. I was just…”  _ I sighed.  _ “Little bit of a long story, but it’s ok. I’ll be back here… tonight.”

_ His smile was directed right at my eyes! It could have melted an iceberg. I’m sure of it. I wasn’t just going to be borrowing his book. I was going to be borrowing his heart. He didn’t know it yet, but I wasn’t going to lend my heart to him.  _

_ I was going to  _ give  _ it to him. _

_ As I walked home I got a weird feeling. What the hell are you doing El? Why do you feel like this? Max will just laugh at you. You know she will. She has too many hard edges. She won’t understand what’s happening to you. _

_ Mike is happening to me.  _

  
  



	3. Self Doubt

_ My curly hair nicely frames my face. I could straighten it, but I didn’t want to look too different from when Mike saw me last. _

_ I was looking at my breasts in the mirror. I was proud of them. I just ignored guys who leered at me, but I felt a secret thrill when I saw the jealous looks of other girls, even a lot of women. _

_ I was going to do something a little naughty when I went over. I was going to take my bra off before I went over. I knew they would jiggle a little bit. Does it make me shallow if I wanted to turn our little book club into a  _ Make Out Session Where El Lets Mike Feel Up Her Boobs?  _ Yes it does. I know it’s very shallow. I was absolutely  _ not _ going to let him feel me up if we hadn’t kissed yet. I’m pretty sure he would just back away if he started to heat up. _

_ If you are a girl, you already know how freeing it is to not wear a bra. You no longer feel restrained or claustrophobic. But if you have more than your share of breasts like I do, you will sag a  _ lot _ quicker. I didn’t have to worry about that at sixteen, but I’ve been told by my doctor enough times. She said I wasn’t so big that I would have back problems, but if I did to let her know. I was in good shape, so weight loss wasn’t going to help. I had naturally large breasts. It was almost a curse. Maybe when I was in my twenties or thirties it would be curse.. Right now I was happy. _

_ I was going to be honest with myself, going braless felt sexy. I had a thin waist, i wasn’t toned or anything like that… my hips were… reasonable I guess. Max told me that there was nothing wrong with my ass, so I guess I was ok there. The main problem was that my boobs attracted the mouthbreathers so I went to a lot of work to… to suppress them. My girls, not the mouthbreathers. I wore minimizer bras. I had regular bras, and ones I felt really pretty in. But I never were those when my dad was around and… to tell you the truth, never had a reason to wear them at all. _

_ Oh for shit’s sake. I’m going on about my breasts as if they are the most important thing to me, and would be to Mike. _

_ Of course, I see them everyday, but he never once looked at them. It made me a little tingly to think of actually  _ showing  _ them to him. I guess I was thinking about them more in the last few hours because I’ve had more than one friend say that was the number one thing guys wanted to do. _

“They want to feel you up El. First your tits, and then down below. You’ll have to live with that fact if you want a boyfriend. They  _ all  _ want to do it. No exceptions. None. Live with it or you’ll be lonely for the rest of our life.  _ You _ don’t have to worry. You’ve got the kind of tits boys dream about when they are jerking off.”

_ Ugh. Max can be a little crude. Max likes to say that she  _ ‘tells it like it is’.  _ I’m sure Mike is not like that.  _ Every  _ guy can’t be like that. Can they? _

_ Now I wasn’t so sure about going over to Mike’s tonight. What if he was an octopus? Had his hands all over me, wherever he could get to? _

_ Shit. I should just put on one of my minimizers, go over there and read. We still had a project to do. _

_ Shit. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I went with the minimizer. He wasn’t going to feel me up on a first date. _

“Dad? Going next door to Mike’s for a school project. I’m reading a science-fiction series and he’s going to read  _ Anne of Green Gables. _ ”

“What are you going to do when that bores the hell out of him?”

“We’ll just make out, I’ll let him feel me up.”

“Ok, I guess I asked for that. Do you like this guy?”

_ I couldn’t look at my dad.  _ “A little.”  _ I said in a small voice. _

_ He just smiled at me.  _ “Well, it’s not like you don’t know how to handle yourself. Just… just be careful ok? It’s your heart I worry about now.”

_ I have the best dad in the world I went over and kissed his cheek. _

“Dad, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like Mike before. He’s nice to me. I don’t want to embarrass you but he didn’t once look at my chest.” 

“Oh? That takes a lot of willpower from any guy. Maybe he’s ok.... or he’s just gay.”

_ That was just like my dad to say something like that. _

“What if he is dad?”

_ He shrugged,  _ “All I’m saying is that if he is, he may be super nice to you but forget about him for boyfriend options..”

_ Oh… but… gay? ...MIke said I was pretty. Doesn’t that count? I guess he could have been complimenting me. Gay doesn’t mean… Now I’m glad I wore a bra. And a minimizer. That would have been awful, being rejected because…  _

_...oh god. What am I going to do? I think I’m in love with him! _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ You’ve heard the quote, ‘ _ The meek shall inherit the earth.’

_ I don’t think that book had any concept of the really meek. A few hours ago I was about as type A as a girl can get without being… I don’t know… easy? A slut? I wasn’t either of those. _

_ When I knocked on Mike’s door, I felt about as meek as a girl can get. I felt like I should have duct taped my breasts so they disappeared. I was in the unbelievable position of feeling self-conscious about my breasts. They were now a hindrance and…. And… _

_ … and here I was going on about my tits again. Seriously El? Is that all you think about? _

_ Yeah, a little. They’ve been my defining feature since I was thirteen.  _

_ Nobody ever told me otherwise. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ Mike opened the door. I saw his eyes. I did it again. I started crying. _

_ He pulled me into the basement, closed the door and hugged me.  _ “El, it’s ok. We can cancel tonight if something more important is going on in your life. This is just school, we are both readers, so we could catch up easily on weekends. It’s ok El. It really is.”

_ I wish he hadn’t been so good at comforting me because I cried even harder. I had to know. I just  _ had  _ to know. _

“Mike. Are you gay?”

_ He stood back from me. I thought he’d be super pissed off.  _ “That’s what everybody thinks isn’t it.? _ He looked at me, a little sad.  _ “I’m sixteen, never had a girlfriend. What else  _ are  _ they going to think? No El, I’m not gay. I have at least one gay friend maybe two, I don’t know, but I’m not. Did someone tell you that? Did my mom?”

_ His mom? No, it was my dad. Now I felt stupid and homophobic. Max would rip me a new one if she knew I asked. She liked me, and she’d made a pass at me once, but we cleared the air and became best friends. _

“No Mike. I’m sorry I asked.”  _ I gave him a huge sigh.  _ “I’d like to think we are friends.”

_ He said something that stuck with me the rest of my life. _

“Me too, El. Friends Don’t Lie.”

_ I smiled at him,  _ “Ok, I will never lie to you.”

“And I will never lie to you. No matter what happens between us or to us.”

_ Did he just make it sound like we’d… be together? My heart started racing again. Does… does he like me? My heart was galloping. How was I going to read tonight? _

_ I managed to calm myself . “Ready to read?” _

“Yeah, he said. I hope you’ll excuse my dumb questions.”

“I’m sure I’ll have even dumber ones Mike.”

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I looked over at Mike to smile at him if he looked at me. Oh my God! There were tears coming down his face.” _

_ My heart nipped at me.  _ “Mike? Are you ok.”

_ I think the saddest thing anyone can ever see is when you ask someone you love if they are ok, and they shake their head. They can’t even answer you, they are so sad. _

_ He read me the passage I knew so well, _ "I would feel so sad if I was a disappointment to her…”

_ I cried pretty hard at that point. It wasn’t the first time I had cried at that part. I’m not sure who hugged who. We were both sad at the same part, but for different reasons. _

_ I love him. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ There was a gentle nudge at my shoulder. I woke up wide-eyed. I heard a whisper,  _ “It’s ok, El. It’s ok.”

_ It was Mike’s mom. I had been sleeping on Mike’s shoulder. She gave me a knowing smile.  _ “Are you two… together?”

_ She must have seen the lone tear streaking down my face.  _ “No, Mrs. Wheeler… but I’m working on it.”  _ I whispered back. _

“You are such a pretty girl honey, I’m sure he likes you. Don’t worry, I’ll let your dad know… I can run interference if you two need to be alone… a lot more.”  _ She went over to a closet and pulled out a big plaid blanket and lay it over us. I lay my head slowly down on his shoulder, I didn’t want to disturb him. _

_ I went to sleep again right away. _

  
  



	4. Bitchy

_ When I woke up, Mike and I were laying beside each other on the sofa. Correction. I was practically laying on top of him. The blanket was over both of us. School! Mike must have felt my body tense up… and he even knew exactly what I was thinking. _

“It’s Saturday El. No school. You can go back home and we can… read together again on Monday night… if… you know… you want to. Sorry for my brief moment of wimpiness.”

“Don’t be sorry Mike. It’s an emotional passage, I found it very moving.. No real person can be dry eyed after reading it.”

“But men, El,  _ real men _ , cry at nothing, we are so stoic and heroic and , other rhyming oic’s that we do not cry. It is against our manly nature to show emotions before a fair maiden.”

_ Ok, maybe I laughed harder than I should. I was a little giddy. First guy I’d ever slept… beside… the  _ with _ would have to come much later. _

“Do you two want breakfast down there or up here? I hear someone likes, really likes Eggos.”

_ I turned to Mike, I think my eyes were saucers again. I half expected him to ask me about the Eggo thing… instead... _

“Oh, wow, El. You have pretty eyes. If I’m saying that too much just tell me… but… but... “  _ Now he couldn’t look at me…  _ “You are really pretty.”

_ Mike! You are driving me crazy! Kiss me or ssk me out, feel me up, make a pass… anything! _

“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll be up in a minute.”

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Mrs. Wheeler looked paranoid when I sat at the kitchen table. She whispered, “Here, put these in your pocket.” She handed me a string of condoms. _

_ We both looked flushed.  _ “Can we talk later?”  _ asked her. _

“Of course, honey.”

  
  


XXXXX

_ I knocked on the Wheeler’s door. Mike was having an AV club meeting at the school, so I know Mrs. Wheeler and I could talk. It’s not like I could hang around with Mike, we weren’t going out or anything. It would be weird if I started hanging around waiting for him to get out of classes or AV club. _

_ She finally opened the door. She didn’t look happy, and she didn’t even try to smile at me. This was  _ not _ going to be a good time to talk about Mike and the condoms. But when she said, “What do you want?” _

_ She looked like I was something stuck to her shoes. I don’t need that kind of attitude for something that’s very personal to me. I don’t know what her problem was. _

_ But, I didn’t need that shit.  _

_ I just looked at her and turned my back on her. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I was sitting on my bed later in the evening . I heard a knock on my bedroom door.  _ “It’s Karen Wheeler.”

“Is it.” I wasn’t going to give an inch. I heard a big sigh.

“Well, I guess I should apologize.”

_ She guesses? Not good enough. _

“No thanks. Bye.”

_ Was I being rude? I definitely was, she said I could talk to her about something private, and she pulls that shit? _

_ I felt like she hesitated before saying anything more, but she must have walked away. One thing was for sure, I wasn’t going over to see Mike tonight. How could I go over to him with his mom like that? Sure, maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe I was just being bitchy today. I think I matched her current mood. _

_ Mike didn’t call me. I guess we weren’t going to read together tonight. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Mike tapped me on the shoulder in English Lit class. I turned around, I wanted to give him a smile, but he wasn’t looking at me. _

“Sorry about my mom. My older sister Nancy tells me she’s menopausal. That must be the medical word for bitchy, we all got it last night. Your dad told me that she went over to talk to you. She came back crying so you two were probably arguing.”

_ I felt bad. I wasn’t exactly mean to her, but I didn’t help. _

“Mike? I can come over for reading tonight… I’ll apologize to her. We didn’t argue, but I was a little bitchy myself.”

“Oh, great,”  _ Mike said smiling,  _ “Two of the women in my life are going to be bitchy every now and then. Ok. I have to put up with it, one cooks for me and the other I… um… well… uh I’m friends with.”

_ My heart was hammering in my chest. What was he going to say? He already said I was one of the women in his life. That’s what got my heart pumping. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I could have come in the back door to Mike’s basement and avoided his mother altogether. I decided to not to. For a few reasons. One, she was a woman, I was a young woman and I was seeing my future, so maybe Karma would look kindly on me if I did the same. And two, I wanted to be with Mike. If I was bitching at his mother all the time… well, you just don’t do that to a boy you are interested in. I wouldn’t want anybody basing their decision to be with me after meeting my dad. Even though I’m sure that’s happened. I was sixteen and had no boyfriend for a reason. I have to laugh, I knew my girls were  _ not _ the reason. _

_ So, I knocked on the front door. _

_ Mrs. Wheeler opened the door and immediately pulled me into a hug.  _ “I’m so sorry El. I have no excuse.”

“It’s ok Mrs. Wheeler… I’m the one who should apologize, I should have been more respectful and understanding of what was happening. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, El. You must like my son very much to put up with that.”

_ At that, I felt my face heating up. Instead of inviting me in, she stepped outside with me.  _ “I was your age when I lost my virginity. It was exciting, thrilling, sensuous… and well not loving, but I’m sure you and Mike will be different.”

“I’m not going to lose it Mrs. Wheeler, and Mike is not going to take it. I’m going to  _ give _ it to him. He’s not ready yet… also… we have to be… together first.” _ I felt my face heating up. The idea of being with Mike like that was… arousing. I didn’t want to feel like that in front of his mother. _

_ There was no sense in trying to explain to her that I didn’t need the condoms she gave me yesterday. _

_ My hormones were driving me crazy.  _

“Why don’t you go meet him at school, he has AV club again tonight. You are officially invited to dinner. If you want to see Mike squirm a bit, tell him.”

_ No, I didn’t want to see him squirm. I never wanted him to be uncomfortable with anything I said or did. _

_ I ran home quickly to change. I thought I would wear a knee length denim skirt and maybe one of my “fun” bras, but a light sweater in case… in case my nipples made an unwanted appearance… well… mostly unwanted. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Let me try to set the scene. I wait for Mike outside the AV room, it’s more like a closet but I know it’s almost like a clubhouse to the members. _

_ He comes out, he looks surprised, he actually gave me the once over, but his eyes didn’t spend any uncomfortably long time on any part of me. I heated up right away. “Wow, El, you look nice!” _

_ Stop. Right there. _

_ The guy you love and who is probably your soulmate tells you that you look nice. You feel something. I don’t need to tell you what. If you’re a girl you know, unfortunately guys you like tend to be clueless about this. Some guys just think they are doing you a favour by even looking at you, guys like Mike though, I could tell, his eyes showed that he meant it. It wasn’t that big a thing, he thought she looked nice. I gave him the slightest of courtesies and said,  _ “Thank you, Mike.”

_ His smile almost knocked me on my butt. Now to tell him about dinner. _

“Mike? Your mom and I apologized to each other.”

“Oh? That’s good, I hate to think you didn’t like my mom, cause she’s pretty cool.”

“She invited me for dinner. Is that ok?”

“Sure, El. Did you think it wouldn’t be?”

_ I think I might have looked embarrassed. As a matter of fact I  _ didn’t  _ think it would be ok. It’s not like we were together. I was sort of a friend, more like a project partner than anything else. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ We were walking back to his house from the school, I was looking down, kind of smiling to myself when I heard, “ _ Shit. I didn’t really want to be punched today.”

_ I looked up at him quickly and followed his eyes. Troy and James were walking towards us. There was no avoiding them. _

_ Troy put his hands together like he was praying, all the way to his elbows.  _ “Please, frogace, please tell me you tit-fucked her and gave her a facial.”

“For fuck’s sake Troy, have a little respect would you? First off, she’s not my girlfriend....”

_ Ok, not completely unexpected for Mike to say that but I was in a bitchy mood so…  _ “And second, mouthbreather.”  _ I said. _

“That’s just too messy, it’s much cleaner for me to drop to my knees… and not miss a drop.”  _ I made a long overloud gulping sound with the intention of making sure my meaning was crystal clear. _

_ It worked. _

_ Both Troy and James walked away red faced.  _

_ Mike sighed.  _ “You didn’t have to lower yourself to their level, El. I mean, I like not being punched… but… but…”

“It’s ok. Mike.”

_He looked down, "_ It's not really, El."

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ But I don’t think it was. Mike acted funny all through dinner. He was polite enough and made small talk ok… something was bothering him. Was he rethinking what he thought of me? Maybe he saw a side of me that he didn’t really like? Hated in fact. _

_ How would I make this up to him? Did I even  _ have _ to make it up to him. I was so confused. I was sure I liked him more than he liked me. He was probably just as happy having a girl talk to him.  _

“Are we going to read tonight?”  _ I asked. I already knew the answer. _

“Uh, Friday night is D and D night with the guys. I mean… you can come over if you want, but I think the nerd goo would get on you and you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”

_ I laughed. Ok, that was a good reason.  _ “Actually I’d like to watch, I’ve heard so much about the game.”

_ His face brightened. “ _ Ok!”  _ He said.  _ “Um, be here at uh, seven.”

_ Seven it was. _

_ I had a surprise for him. _

  
  



	5. First Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried keep this one non-graphic, but definitely a little on the mature side. Putting myself out of my comfort zone. I don't think I write these kind of scenes particularly well.

_ Have you ever actually watched a game of Dungeons and Dragons? Ok, but have you ever actually watched nerds in their natural habitat  _ playing _ Dungeons and Dragons? I felt a little dumb. I had to ask what “D and D” stood for. I thought they were saying “DND”. They called it an RPG, I had to ask what that was. It means Role Playing Game. It was a neat way of playing a game, if let nerds use their imagination where no one would laugh at them. They use these funny looking dice I’d never seen before. As it turns out, they’ve been around forever. _

_ Oh, and D and D has a million rules.  _

_ At least. _

_ Mike’s friend named Dustin, seemed to know them all. Mike was what they called a Dungeon Master. Ok tingley time. I had a brief fantasy of being chained in a basement, Mike was the master and came down to “ _ play” _ with me. Whatever the master wanted. _

_ My hormones must have been peaking at a dangerous level. _

_ I needed to calm down.  _

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I decided that night that I would wear tight jeans that showed off my ass. I wore heavier plaid shirt because I wasn’t going to wear a bra. I was going to use both barrels, as my dad would say, and I was going to play dirty pool. _

_ I wanted Mike to  _ notice _ me. Notice that I was a girl. A girl who liked him. A lot. I think I got the attention of everyone when Mike invited me to sit at the table. “ _ Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Maybe you can be… I don’t know… our mage at some point.”

“Oh, that would be cool,”  _ Dustin said. _

“I don’t know man, there are a lot of rules.”  _ That was Lucas. Both were Mike’s best friends. I was about to question that when he first told me and he said, very firmly “ _ You can have more than one best friend. I don’t care what anybody else thinks.”

_ I had to smile, he would not pick one friend over another.  _

_ Mike Wheeler was the perfect boy. For one El Hopper. _

“So why all the funny shaped dice?”  _ I asked. _

“Well,”  _ Mike explained patiently. _ “Let’s say you have a sword, a big sword can do a lot of damage, so we can use, say this twenty-sided dice… but, what if one of us uses a knife? It doesn’t seem fair to use the same dice, a knife can’t do the same damage, so we use maybe an eight sided dice.”

_ It let me know that a very important thing. Mike, and probably all the guys were concerned about fairness. For everyone. _

“Oh, I see. That makes sense.”

_ All the guys smiled. I think they weren’t really expecting me to “get it” but they were nerdily happy that I did. _

_ Remember I said that the game has a million rules? It was my opinion that they were to keep the game fair, when I mentioned this, they all looked thoughtful, Like they hadn’t thought of that before. _

_ The one thing I didn’t mention is that the game takes close to a million years to play. It was two in the morning before they called it.  _

“But was about the Thesselhydra?”  _ I said, “ _ You guys are about to fight it? Right?”

_ Lucas said, “ _ I want to marry your girlfriend Mike.”

“Me too.”  _ Dustin said. _

_ Mike explained,  _ “We’ve played for seven or eight hours now. We don’t want to start a big fight when we are tired. Think of it as a cliff hanger”,  _ his smile made me…  _ more  _ hormonal.  _

“And anyway, I’ve been doing so many voices I don’t think I can pull that one off tonight.”  _ His voice was sounding a little hoarse. _

_ I’ve watched a lot of TV. Mike had done so many voices for so many characters I thought he could be in a drama class. He said he wasn’t but this game let him be other people. It let all of them express their inner nerdy fantasies.  _

_ It made me love Mike Wheeler even more. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

_ If someone had asked me to describe the perfect guy for me, maybe a few days ago I couldn’t have done it. But now I can. _

_ The perfect guy for me would act like Mike, his kindness, his curiosity, his dedication to his friends, his enthusiasm, his eyes… ok shallow time again… his looks. _

_ I would describe Mike Wheeler. _

_ I was starting to think that he just considered me “one of the guys”. That was ok if I just wanted a platonic relationship with a guy, but I wanted so much more with him. _

_ Argggh! My hormones were driving me crazy. _

_ I hugged Dustin, Lucas and Will, he was a quiet one, but I hugged him anyway, as they left.  _

_ They all thought I was Mike’s girlfriend. I sure didn’t correct them, and neither did Mike.  _

“Um… did you want to do some more reading?”

_ I did. And maybe something more. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“Mike? These ‘Ethicals’ don’t seem to be all that ethical do they?” _ I’d read a paragraph that made me think they weren’t exactly the good guys. _

“You noticed? I think that was the author's way of telling readers that maybe the ‘gods’ really don’t have our best interests in mind. Look at Greek mythology, it’s rife with gods that didn’t get along. I’m not an expert but I’ve read both ‘The Odyssey and The Iliad’. I’m sure other religions have their beefs with the higher ups. Even Christianity, God and Lucifer. It’s all kind of screwed up.”

_ Something told me that Mike wasn’t all that religious. I wasn’t either. I thought of myself as more spiritual. My dad didn’t delve into a lot of that when teaching me, more from an historical viewpoint. _

_ Maybe I was Wiccan? At least it was something.... _

_ I was not going to get into religion with Mike. I think I understood where he was coming from. _

_ Closer to three in the morning, Mike closed his book. He looked a little uncomfortable. _

“Um… El?”

“Yes Mike?”

“Um, would you like to go out to a movie or hangout with me sometime?”

“No.”

_ “Oh… um…” He stood up. I was about to launch into why, but he looked away from me, he looked down. He looked totally defeated. Deflated. Disappointed. All the d’s. _

“I don’t want to hang out with you one time. I want to hangout with you  _ all _ the time.”

_ He looked me in the eyes. I’ll say it right now. There was longing there. There was love there. _

_ He frowned just slightly when he said,  _ “Do you want to be my… um… girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

_ He nodded.  _ “I need to kiss you… I’m… uh, I’ve never kissed a girl.”

_ I tried to give him my prettiest smile, I stood up and put my arms around his neck, he hooked his thumbs into my belt loops. _

_ We kissed. _

_ Oh my God. His lips were so soft. Impossibly soft. I parted mine slightly… an invitation… one that he accepted. _

_ I wish every girl’s first kiss could be like the one Mike gave me. It was perfect. Beyond anything I could hope for. He didn’t try to feel me up, or lick my tonsils… it was just… very nice. _

_ When we parted we were breathing a little bit heavier than when we started.  _ “Sorry, El. That was my first kiss. I hope it wasn’t too gross.”

“Mine too Mike. It wasn’t gross at all. I haven’t nothing to compare it to, but I think you are a really good kisser.”

_ He blushed. I knew he would.  _

  
  
  


XXXXX

_ We moved to the sofa. I knew we were in for a heavy make-out session. I was ok with that. I  _ wanted _ it. _

_ I unbuttoned my plaid shirt, half way. My girls responded to the action and so did Mike. I was about to guide his hand underneath my shirt, but I felt his question. My answer was simple. _

“Yes.”

_ I was having a lot of firsts with Mike. First boyfriend, first kiss, first guy to have his hand on my breasts. _

_ He was gentle. His hands weren’t rough, they were smooth, he didn’t pinch, he pulled just enough. He was so, so gentle with me. _

_ I couldn’t stand it anymore.  _ “Mike? What you are doing right there? Don’t stop… don’t stop… don’t stop.”

_ I couldn’t help it. He took me to the edge… and then gloriously over it. He did everything right. _

“Uh… El? Um, did you just…?”

“Yes from your fingers. It can happen Mike. Maybe not all the time. But it can happen. It just did for me and you were responsible.” _I gave him a contented sigh. My hormones were mostly back to normal._

_ My breathing was starting to even out.  _ “Mike.  _ Never _ be sorry for making a girl feel that way. Hopefully no other girl, but never feel sorry for that. A lot of it’s the way I feel about you. And…”

_ Ok… I guess I should have expected this. He was very aroused. You know what I mean. I would never be a tease to him. I would never leave Mike in any kind of state. I completely unbuttoned my shirt and gave him full visual and physical access. _

_ I’m glad I did. It led to what was called a lap dance. I ground into him for all I was worth. It really wasn’t working for either of us. He knew this too, and stopped me. _

“Is something wrong Mike?” _ I tried not to look too disappointed. _

“It looks great in the movies El. But uh, It’s uh, kind of abrasive… and… you don’t have to do that for me. Believe me, I appreciate the, um, show. You look beautiful.”

_ He held my hips and helped me swing back around to sit beside him. _

“Mike. I did that for both of us. The way I feel about you right now, there are not going to be very few clothes involved next time. Ok?”

“Ok, El. This is where it gets interesting.”

“You mean trying to find a place and time where we won’t be interrupted?”

“Yeah. There’s no rush El. I mean it.”

_ We lay on the sofa afterwards, I was in his arms. We fell asleep that way. I’m glad I made sure I had buttoned myself back up. In the morning, there was a blanket over us.  _

_ His mom, probably. _

  
  



	6. Second Firsts

_ This was a lot of fun. Mike, his mom and I were playing Skip-Bo. It was a simple game, but addictive and we were having a great time. . It was a Friday night. I knew that was a gaming night for the Party, so I asked Mike. “Shouldn’t you be playing D and D? _

“Dustin couldn’t make it. He is doing something for his mom. Um, we have a lot of rules, but Family comes first. Then friends. He really knows the game rules, so it just makes sense.”

_ If Mike was trying to make me love him more… well, it worked. I did. So we played this card game. It was fun seeing Mike and his mom interact. There was a lot of love there. I guess I was a bit jealous. I know I shouldn’t be. That’s a different kind of love. Maybe even as strong. _

_ There was a knock on the door that didn’t sound right. _

_ Mrs. Wheeler frowned.  _ “I’ll get it,”  _ Mike said. The true man of the house. _

_ I heard,  _ “Mike? Is your mum and my daughter here?”

“Yeah, we are playing a game. C’mon in.”

_ It was my dad. _

_ Something was going on. _

_ He smiled at me. Everything was going to be ok.  _ “Um, honey? Old case, they need me, so I’m gone for about a week. Short version. Mike can stay over. He sleeps on the floor. We clear?”

“Yes Dad.”  _ I kind of gave a sideways glance at Mrs. Wheeler. She smiled. I was relieved. Not only was Mike staying over, but he would be sleeping in my bed. We would be in bed together because it was time. Our love  _ needed _ it. We would both be out of our comfort zone… or better yet create a new comfort zone. We would have fun exploring that aspect of our relationship. _

_ I don’t like lying to my dad. It wasn’t exactly lying, because I didn’t say anything one way or another. I love him, I would never mislead him… but… Mike and I  _ needed  _ this. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Mike was taking a long time to get his sleeping bag and overnight gym bag ready. I excused myself from the table and went to see what was taking him so long. _

_ He was sitting on the sofa. He looked like there was an internal struggle going on. _

“Everything ok, Mike.”

_ He gave me a crooked smile.  _ “You aren’t hiding your secret very well. I know what you have planned for tonight.”

“You do?” _ I tried to appear shocked, but I bent over a little so he could see my cleavage. He actually glanced down to look. Then back up at my eyes, and his face started to flush.. _

“Sorry El.”

“If you thought that was making you blush, you should see what I have for you down below.”

_ That did it. He couldn’t even look at me. He was shy, and I was coming on to him in a very aggressive sexual manner. I would tone it back, and maybe we would do nothing tonight, but I still wanted to sleep beside him.  _

_ His mom gave me condoms for a reason though, and I’d hate to miss a lost opportunity. _

_ I sort of wish that Mike wasn’t so… I don’t know... not-mouthbreatherish. _

  
  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


_ All my bravado was gone. I was now fully outside of my comfort zone. I was going to get naked in front of Mike.  _

_ We were standing in my room, Mike had carefully set up the sleeping bag. The night was going to be ours. _

“Can I say something?”  _ Mike asked me. He looked scared to death. _

“You don’t need to Mike. It’s my first time too. How about a compromise? We get into our jammies, we get in bed, we make out and see where it takes us?”

_ Mike nodded but he was nervous. I went to change into the bathroom first. I played dirty pool again. I put on a pair of high hipped panties and my bathrobe. That was it. _

_ Mike just assumed I had my pajamas on underneath it and went in to change into his own. _

_ “ _ Mike, I need to show you something.”

“ I’ve seen them El. They are beautiful… just like you.”

_ I dropped my bathrobe anyway. I gave him my best coquettish pose. I don’t like to toot my own horn, as I’ve heard dad say, but I think Mike’s eyes almost popped out of his head.  _

_ But he did something I hadn’t expected. He lower his eyes his head drooped a little. _ “Um, El, you have pretty eyes, you are beautiful… you have a hot body… I don’t want to be a mouth breather saying that… why are you interested in me? You could do so much better…”

“Better than who? You? Or for me? Better how Mike? Smarter? …ok maybe, nobody knows everything but I find you pretty smart… you know… for some girls that turns them on. Better body? ...well I haven’t seen yours yet, but that’s not… not what I go for. That’s what you’ve been led to believe by magazines, movies, and TV. They tell both of us what we should desire in a partner. Better looking? Mike, I think you are way cute. I know a lot of mouthbreathers think they are a personal gift to girls… I think you are very handsome. You could be a model… ”

_ He looked up at me and smiled.  _ “You are standing there… literally half naked, looking like you came out of some girly magazine, and you are telling me everything like about me… you could have anybody… and you picked me… I’m no longer going to question it…”

“Mike… watch.” 

_ I turned around, hooked my thumb in my panties at the hip and pulled them down… slowly for him. I glanced back… he was watching my ass and that’s exactly where I wanted his eyes. I turned around quickly so he would see… everything. I got the exact physical response I wanted from him.  _

_ I expected him to blush… but he didn't, he didn’t go purple this time.  _

“We are really going to do this.”

“We really are Mike.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ I would only tell my closest girlfriend this. I don’t have one and Max certainly doesn’t count, but… Mike and I made love. At sixteen. _

_ I don’t really give a shit what other people say, especially, oh let me quote ‘grown ups’. The divorce rate in that group is over twenty percent. They can hardly talk about what’s good for a relationship and what isn’t . _

_ Mike gave me all the cookies I could want in one night. There was a scary moment for him when he realized we had no protection. I told him what his mother gave me, but then I told him he didn’t need it… and I asked him to trust me on that.  _

_ He did. _

_ What can I say? _

_ I love Mike… and he loves me. _


End file.
